Hi everyone! First of all a warm welcome to the new readers coming over after Healthy Living Summit posts, sent from other people’s recaps, etc. Welcome to RWS! Sit down, stay awhile! Check out the About Me section and my Top Posts section for starters!
One of the sessions I attended at HLS was on dealing with blog negativity. Imagine that, someone leaving mean and negative comments on a blog!
Who would EVER do a thing like that, hhhmmm? If you have a blog and have not yet had to deal with this, consider yourself lucky. I feel like I get a fair share here because I choose to be very real on my blog. Of course, I like to try to keep things positive and upbeat, but at the same time, I don’t gloss over real issues, problems I am dealing with, and the way I really feel about things.
life isn’t always rainbows and flowers. I am NOT perfect!
–Constructive criticism vs. mean comments
As much as I would love to give everyone the benefit of the doubt (and I REALLY try to) some people are just what I like to call “a bad egg.” They are going to find something mean to say, and then cover their backs by saying it was “constructive criticism.” This is one of the things the panel at HLS talked about…there is a difference in CONSTRUCTIVE (building up and helpful criticism) and just being mean , hurtful, and evil for no good reason.
I think the biggest problem is, we have these people hiding behind their mask that is the computer screen, and who feel like it gives them free reign to say whatever to whomever they choose. I mean really, is it something you would say in real life to a friend? Then why would you think it’s ok to say to a stranger? You don’t know what people are going through behind closed doors.
mommy says not to talk to strangers
–Creating your own reality
Another thing we talked about is creating your own reality. Hate to break it to the haters, but it’s my blog, my space, and I can write on it whatever I choose, and I can choose to hit the button labeled spam. Not to mention….I can track your IP address and see if you have ever commented before. If I don’t want mean comments on my blog, I can block them. If I want to share my opinion on a controversial topic, I can. If I KNOW there is a blog out there that is going to upset me, I can choose not to read it. (Why people waste their time reading and commenting on blogs that “annoy” them blows my mind. Time is so precious, friends!) I remember the first mean comment I ever got…I was devastated, and it upset me for days. It seemed to be all I could think about, until one day I realized by letting it disrupt my day, that person had WON! I refuse to give people the satisfaction, so now I just get over it and move on. Not everyone is going to like my blog and I am totally ok with that.
–Cool off before responding
This is where I have failed in the past and let my temper get the better of me. It is in my nature to immediately write out a snarky response, and have kind of a “take that”attitude, which isn’t very kind on my part, and won’t help the situation. I am human, I make mistakes (a LOT of them, trust me!) But this is an area where I feel I have really grown over the past years of blogging. If someone leaves a negative comment instead of responding right away, I get away from my computer, think about it for awhile, and 9 times out of 10, I end up responding differently (and more ladylike!) then I would have if I had answered right away. Let cooler heads prevail!
This cream colored puppy has TOTALLY taken the spotlight, I need to take a w-a-l-k and cool off before I deal with her.
Ultimately, how you choose to handle negativity on your blog is up to you, it’s YOUR blog! Yahoo!!! Some may ignore, some may delete, and some may confront. You have to choose what is right for you, your personality, and your blog. My main takeaway would be to not let a naysayer control your emotions. They aren’t worth it! For every negative comment, think of the dozens of comments you get telling you how much people love your blog, how inspiring you are, etc. THOSE are the ones you want to stick with you, and that is why I blog. To help, to give hope, and to inspire. If it ever becomes more hurtful than helpful to myself, my relationships, and my readers, then I know it is time to stop. Blog negativity is real, it’s rampant, and there is only so much we can do. I think it’s wise to have an action plan in place before it happens to you so that you don’t make a decision you will regret later. I am rooting for you and hope you don’t let blog negativity get you down!
QOTD: How do you deal with negativity on your blog? Do you get negative comments on your blog?
I absolutely do not tolerate mean commenters on my blog – and neither do my readers. It is absolutely incredible for the few mean comments I have gotten, my readers have been the first to jump all over it and defend me to the ground. I do what you do – get away from the computer and think about what my action (not reaction) will be. Sometimes I delete, sometimes I respond, sometimes I email.
I know! its so awesome to see how people rally around you when it happens!
I’m from the ” if you dont have anything nice to say don’t say it at all” mind set.There are times when I don’t agree with what some bloggers write, I just chose to ignore it and move on. I really never understood the need for negativity in the blog world and haven’t really experienced it myself since I’m pretty new to blogging but I know that you’re 100% right. It’s your blog and your decision to delete if you want. I don’t think I’d even waste my time with negative feedback, waste of energy!!
I say that all the time…I think its the school teacher in me coming out lol!
Ha! I’m a teacher too!
Great post Heather. Your blog is awesome so if you are getting any negative comments just ignore them because your writing and attitude are wonderful.
thanks Kelly, that means a lot coming from you!
What mean thing could anyone possibly have to post on your blog?! I admit I haven’t been a reader for long, but you seem like such a sweet person and your posts have been nothing but fun and motivating. Keep up the great work!
aw thank you so much!
Amen. I don’t understand mean comments that attack a blogger at all. Like you said, don’t read if things offend you. I just try to remember I get A LOT more positive comments than negative ones, and that helps 🙂
Definitely don’t get mean comments on my blog (yet? I’d be surprised to get one, to be honest), and I definitely don’t understand why people do it. I think the people who do this might be a similar group as the ones on Facebook who “like” a company just so they can post negative stuff on all their status updates, disagree with everything, and say how much they hate that company. If you hate something, why spend your time on it? I think these people have some problems in their life if this is what they do for entertainment!
exactly. one time I had someone who came back saying things over and over for days, it was so weird he would spend so much time knocking me down!
I agree. Whether it be Twitter, Facebook, blogs, whatever, it seems like too many people use the computer as a “safe haven” to be mean. In my opinion, if you wouldn’t say it in person, why say it? You wouldn’t say it in person because its offensive or it could back fire on you (like the girl you just bashed has a big, bulky boyfriend), so why say it online? I don’t think its mean as much as it is cowardly. These people are lacking in self-confidence and it helps them to feel better by putting you down. They see how much self-confidence you have and they get jealous.
Hopefully, some of those negative people are reading this post. I would love to see their response.
yes! cowardly and lonely and bored I would assume!
I haven’t had to deal with any negative comments yet since my blog is so new, but I’m glad to have a heads up about what to possibly expect and how to handle it. Your advice about stepping away for a bit is really helpful, because I always react wrong when I don’t take a few minutes to cool off. Thanks!
you are welcome! I hope you don’t have to deal with this!
I’m a newbie blogger (~2 months) and haven’t gotten any negative comments so far. I have read negative comments on others’ blogs though, mainly about how much a person eats, if she’s “too skinny” or has an ED, something of that sort. I don’t understand why people bother to comment at all– do they really think (even if a person DID have an eating disorder) someone is going to accept advice and criticism from a total stranger??? It boggles my mind how people think they can be an authority on someone else’s blog (or life!) without having any relationship to that person (usually they are anonymous!). I think blogs should just be an overall positive, and accepting outlet. If you don’t like someone’s blog, don’t read it! Why get offended over someone you don’t even know?
Great topic!
exactly. if anything its just going to push that person further away if they truly do have a problem! so sad.
I agree with your sentiments 100%. I don’t understand why people feel the need to tear others down. It really doesn’t solve anything! I’m glad that you have learned that it’s not worth getting upset over – and that YOU have control over your blog, not them! I’m fortunate to have not had any negative comments yet, but thanks to you and other bloggers, I’m prepared for when they come. (Unfortunately we live in an age where it will come…so sad…) I have to agree with the others – you have so many people who have your back, no need to worry about those nay-sayers!
yes, be prepared for how you will handle!
Hey there, Heather, so great to meet you this weekend! Your blog and this post is wonderful. You’re amazing, it’s always better to keep positive and move forward.
Have a great week! I can’t seem to wipe the smile off my face from the HLS, what a beautiful weekend!
Lynda! so glad you found me! I had so much fun as well!
I’m fairly new to your blog and have really enjoyed it. Especially all of your trip reports related to Disney…I love Disney!
Fortunately, I have not had to deal with any negative comments, but I like all the tips you have given…just in case. 🙂
thank you! I of course love Disney too!
I actually have never been sent a mean comment, then again I don’t get many comments at all. I’ve only recently started getting SPAM comments. However I did have a friend who stopped reading my blog and I was really upset…but then they said “All you do is talk about running and crap” and I was like UMMMM that’s what I DO it’s a FITNESS BLOG. Crazy.
haha that is funny!
(I found your blog on the 1st Fitblogger Daily follow thingy on Facebook!) I’m still new to the whole blogger thing so I haven’t experienced any negative comments. Like you said, it’s YOUR blog and you can say what you want! I don’t consider other people when I’m writing my posts. It’s for me and those that respect that and like what I have to say…great! For the others…oh, well.
you are so right!
first off, i saw on your side bar you met your goal for TNT!!! Congrats! That’s not easy feat and takes a lot of hard work and you are helping to save, change, and better lives and futures! On another note, I agree! There are certain blogs out there that I mind crude, offensive, and unenjoyable. And I might think a few snarky things to myself but ya know what…I don’t have to read them! I just simply move on! I feel no need to add negativity into anyone’s lives! Because the truth is no matter how much we do or don’t share on our blogs, it is just a tiny little glimpse at our lives! You never know what someone else is going through, not matter how strong or forceful they seem. there’s no reason to add negativity to the world. there is enough of it out there all ready!
And that’s so cool about the IP address! I didn’t know you could do that!
Actually we are 750 away. My husband And I are running together so we have double to raise. I am getting way nervous!
I totally agree 100% with your post!
If people don’t like what I blog, tweet or update on FB I’m not making them read it…they can move on, delete me from their feed, etc….
I’ve had more than my share of downright mean, nasty comments attempted to be posted (I now have to approve comments prior to them showing up) because I say what I have to say (most the time in a nice way but other times I just call a spade a spade) and people don’t like that.
My own mother doesn’t even talk to me (since Dec 2010) because of some things that were tweeted that she didn’t agree with so now she doesnt talk to me…whatever…
My blog is an extension of me and I don’t expect everyone to like me so no big surprise some won’t like my blog but it’s their choice to read or not.
so sorry to hear about your mom!
her loss…sad part is it’s all over cookie cutters and then for some reason it came as a “surprise” to her when I tweeted I was glad to be 1200 miles from home…and she got mad, hasn’t talked to me since….odd part, I’ve been 1200 miles from PA since 1985! when I was 17 I hitch hiked from PA to FL but took the ‘long’ creative way of getting to FL so not sure why she acted all offended 26 years later but then again she’s a loon…brother was in motorcycle accident last Oct…2 hrs from her and she NEVER went to see him! He had shattered leg, arm, head injuries yet I hopped plane, slept in hospital room w/him for days…she’s just a sad sad person but yet still stalks my blog, facebook and twitter!
Fortunately I haven’t had to deal with any real hurtful comments or anything, but I do have a few people who repeatedly will question decisions I’ve made regarding training or things I want to do with my running. They always have constant “suggestions” for me or brag about the fact that they’ve never had to deal with certain issues I’ve had come up. They come across as being very “know-it-all” and sometimes that can be just as offensive as someone being blatantly rude. I have a very hard time dealing with people, not just in the blog world, who have no qualms in telling someone what they think is best for you. it’s one thing if I were asking for suggestions, but it’s another thing to just CONSTANTLY give them when they’re not even asked for. Thanks for this post. It’s a nice reminder that I don’t necessarily have to put up with things, and especially if I come across rude comments in the future.
ug that is just as annoying!
Awesome post…I’m somewhat new to blogging so I haven’t had to deal with any negative comments. Your tips are great though, and I will keep them in mind!
Thanks for commenting on my blog and thank you for the compliment on my room. I love have that few kids. I actually have 7 now, but still it is amazing! The school is awesome and the structure is so totally amazing! I love it! I am completely blessed to have a class like the one that I have! Love this blog post! I am grateful I have not received any ugly comments yet. thank goodness.
I haven’t been blogging long enough (or don’t get enough readers!) to get any negative comments, but I’m sorry to hear that you get them and that it is a regular thing for bloggers! People can be so cruel. I’m glad to see you handling these things in stride!
thanks for your comment! Its so hard to be nice sometimes.
Who would ever say anything negative??? I mean you are a Disney fan 🙂 Great post! I love your blog
haha I know right?
All great things! I’m definitely going to keep these in mind, should the time come for me to deal with negative commenters!
GREAT POST, Heather! 🙂
thanks lady!